Don't patronize me! If we know for sure boats aren't an option, then we should find out more about what brought us here! At least make sure that whatever it was only works one way and can't send us back! We don't even know why we're here, and I'm just supposed to accept it?!
Mom is probably happy that I'm gone, but Soubi - Soubi's suffered so much for my sake. He's fought for me, and gone through hardships as my Fighter because I wouldn't accept my responsibility for him and he didn't want me in danger. He even fought a team that broke etiquette and hammered a nail right through his hand! Soubi would never, ever give up on finding his way to my side, so it's only fair that I--
[yells right back :|] Do you think I'm not trying?! Do you think I'm not frustrated, just as much as you?!
[huff. he wanted to carry on, 'do you think i dont have a friend who's probably looking for me?' but this is not about his own pain.]
...Listen, I know you miss him. And I'm sorry that it has to be this way, I am. But by letting your own despair overwhelm you, you're just going to destroy yourself. If you don't want to be strong for yourself - be strong for everyone else. Don't let people hear you talk like this, doubting yourself. You're trying your best, and that's all that matters.
Most of the time I forget that you're that much bigger and stronger, but when you yell, it's hard to ignore. Just don't do it, okay? I really hate violence.
[ When it gets like that, instincts tell him he's gonna get hit. And considering the number his mother, an average-sized woman, was able to do on him, he figures Jack could easily send him to the hospital. ]
I'm not despairing. I just can't stand the idea of giving up.
When I see Yagami or hear his voice, it's like I can't stop thinking about Seimei. I know they're not the same, and maybe someday even Seimei will get better, but...
Back home, I knew what I was doing. I had an objective, y'know? It changed a lot, and I didn't exactly know what was going on 100% of the time, but it was my life. I was ready for all of it.
I don't know how to just settle down and be normal now. Even then, I could split up my life at school and my life at home and my life as a Sacrifice, but... I dunno.
People start yelling sometimes. That doesn't mean they like each other any less.
And...I didn't know he reminded you of your brother. I guess that explains a few things, though again, you mustn't project. I don't expect you to be best friends, you don't even have to talk to him if you don't want to. He's my responsibility, and I'm sticking to that.
And I'm the same way. That's why I'm giving myself an objective here, and you're part of that.
...Everyone wants to do that. That's a stupid goal. A good goal would be 'get out of here safely' or 'learn a new language' or 'learn to cook' or something like that. [ huff ]
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branchandroot
voice
Date: 2010-07-21 07:43 pm (UTC)Mom is probably happy that I'm gone, but Soubi - Soubi's suffered so much for my sake. He's fought for me, and gone through hardships as my Fighter because I wouldn't accept my responsibility for him and he didn't want me in danger. He even fought a team that broke etiquette and hammered a nail right through his hand! Soubi would never, ever give up on finding his way to my side, so it's only fair that I--
[ breaking off, is that a sniffle? ]
Stupid Soubi...
voice
Date: 2010-07-21 07:49 pm (UTC)[huff. he wanted to carry on, 'do you think i dont have a friend who's probably looking for me?' but this is not about his own pain.]
...Listen, I know you miss him. And I'm sorry that it has to be this way, I am. But by letting your own despair overwhelm you, you're just going to destroy yourself. If you don't want to be strong for yourself - be strong for everyone else. Don't let people hear you talk like this, doubting yourself. You're trying your best, and that's all that matters.
voice
Date: 2010-07-21 08:01 pm (UTC)Don't yell at me. I don't like it.
voice
Date: 2010-07-21 08:04 pm (UTC)voice
Date: 2010-07-21 08:20 pm (UTC)Most of the time I forget that you're that much bigger and stronger, but when you yell, it's hard to ignore. Just don't do it, okay? I really hate violence.
[ When it gets like that, instincts tell him he's gonna get hit. And considering the number his mother, an average-sized woman, was able to do on him, he figures Jack could easily send him to the hospital. ]
I'm not despairing. I just can't stand the idea of giving up.
voice
Date: 2010-07-21 08:23 pm (UTC)And who said anything about giving up? We're not giving up, but we're not stupid enough to go on a suicide mission, either.
voice
Date: 2010-07-21 08:46 pm (UTC)[ pause ]
I just feel like I'm.
I don't know.
When I see Yagami or hear his voice, it's like I can't stop thinking about Seimei. I know they're not the same, and maybe someday even Seimei will get better, but...
Back home, I knew what I was doing. I had an objective, y'know? It changed a lot, and I didn't exactly know what was going on 100% of the time, but it was my life. I was ready for all of it.
I don't know how to just settle down and be normal now. Even then, I could split up my life at school and my life at home and my life as a Sacrifice, but... I dunno.
voice
Date: 2010-07-21 08:52 pm (UTC)And...I didn't know he reminded you of your brother. I guess that explains a few things, though again, you mustn't project. I don't expect you to be best friends, you don't even have to talk to him if you don't want to. He's my responsibility, and I'm sticking to that.
And I'm the same way. That's why I'm giving myself an objective here, and you're part of that.
voice
Date: 2010-07-21 11:38 pm (UTC)voice
Date: 2010-07-21 11:40 pm (UTC)voice
Date: 2010-07-22 12:12 am (UTC)voice
Date: 2010-07-22 12:14 am (UTC)